The temperature outside has dropped. Indoor activities are in full effect. Warm and cozy blankets have been removed from our closets. It’s cuffing season!
Everyone is looking for someone to tie down and spend the cooler months with indoors.
This is the time that we often get to visit with family and old friends, and the age-old question, “Are you still single?” resurfaces. This question is coupled with the opportunity to scrutinize our lack of a companion and further magnify what you already acutely aware of. You are single.
If we judged life based on our timeline…the holiday season is the time for parties, hand-holding, sipping cocoa by the fire as you and your significant other lazily watch snow flakes drift from their heavenly storehouses to the ground…
Yet here we are again…different year, same request…
God, send me someone to love…
Imagine: It’s Friday, after 10 and your phone seems to have stopped working, as no one is texting or calling.
Since you haven’t had a date or anyone knocking down your door, you give in to the idea that you are not worth anyone’s time or you’re undesirable. You keep your friends at bay, silence calls from family members and dodge invites to holiday parties, just to not chance the idea of sounding desperate or feeling alone. Loneliness has now cuffed you.
We spent the entire year engaged in every spiritual challenge available…
Cultivating our spirits, identifying our purpose, praying away soul ties, only to end up back in the same place as soon as we see #cuffingseason or #relationshipgoals taunt us on our timelines. We did all this in the hopes that we could better ourselves and have testimonial pictures to post with #cuffingseason, as well.
You’re probably thinking…God couldn’t possibly want me to go through another holiday season alone…
Well, I’ve been where you are. Having been single for eight years, I know the feeling of loneliness, too.
Loneliness can have a personality of its own and sometimes, when we are not focused on our purpose, we can allow loneliness to cuff us. But there are some things that you can do to keep loneliness away during the cuffing season and enjoy your singleness.
- Throw a party.
It is the holiday season! Embrace it and throw a party. Isolation may not be good for keeping loneliness away. You could ask other singles to join you and bring someone of the opposite sex to the party. Not only would you have fun, but you may get to know people that you’ve never met, and open up an opportunity to hang out again.
Give of your time and service during the holiday season. Throughout the year, you can show Christ’s love by serving others, however during the holidays, we should be especially mindful to give of our time to others who may be less fortunate to remind them of God’s love. Devoting our attention to serving, not only helps others, but aids our growth and distracts us from our problems.
- Read the Word.
God tells us time and time again that He will never leave nor forsake us. Though you may want to cuddle up with a warm, human body, God never fails in getting you to a place of rest in Him. We must read His Word because it reminds us of how much He loves on us and provides us with reassurance that this is only a season (it doesn’t matter how many times the weather changes) and that joy is coming.
Take a break from the monotony of life and go outside. Get some fresh air. We can exercise for 20-30 minutes, or however long we may have, to take our minds off the idea that we should be sharing every waking moment looking for a man. Exercise your body. Exercise your mind. Exercise your ability to interact with others. Exercise your ability to become so involved with God, yourself, and others that you never give “cuffing” a chance to cuff you.
I can attest to the fact that loneliness has a very sneaky way of infiltrating our lives, posing as a desirable last choice. We cannot give it an ounce of our time or thoughts. In order to do that, try completing the following actions:
- Throw a party.
- Read the Word.
We can take back our single season and make the most of the holidays. Let’s use our time wisely, investing in ourselves and others.
Alycia is a freelance writer and educator who works with teens to cultivate a positive self-image and thirst for knowledge. She is feverishly penning her first novel and launching a blog, "The Joy Within Us," to motivate and inspire women to seek the joy and love of Christ. She resides in Tampa, FL with her daughter, Amariah Joy. Read more from Alycia at joywithinus.com, and follow her on IG: @joywithinus