Hear us out; though we aren’t all marriage or relational experts, we do know quite a bit about them. Our team started out as “Married & Young,” if that’s any indication! Our marriages have their fair share of bliss and hardships, mountaintops and valleys, just like any other.
However, we can say with experience, better marriages — the marriages you look at and say “wow, they really love each other” — do not happen by chance.
It’s not even about finding your long lost soulmate! We have seen some personalities naturally bow a knee to the other, and some will interact more like two rams butting heads for the sake of a dual (some of us might relate more to the ram analogy).
But regardless of what kind of personality you have, it takes two people being “all in” to cultivate a marriage that loves, honors, and respects one another.
One of the greatest things you can do for the health and well-being is this…
My husband came to me with something he wanted to start doing; it came entirely from his creative mind. It was brilliant and intentional, and I can’t take the credit one bit! He wanted to reignite our dating. But not in the ordinary sense of the word …
It’s nice to go out to dinner once in a while, but let’s face it; the majority of the conversation is intertwined with the daily functions of home life, kids, and jobs. He said, “let’s not just try to squeeze in a date once a month or every couple of weeks, let’s date all week long!” And to follow up, he proposed system that has revolutionized the way our relationship works.
We now have spiritual, emotional, and physical dates every week! Let me explain:
Every Monday night, we come together after we put the kiddos to bed, grab some coffee or tea, along with our united prayer/vision journal we write in.
We then watch a sermon, listen to a podcast, or read through a book together!
(We love Elevation Online and The OC Movement Church podcast.)
We call it our spiritual date night! It has been amazing, and we can’t wait for Monday evenings every week! We continue with our devotionals in the morning either separately, or together, but this gives us time to be extremely intentional with building our faith together through a specific time.
It starts off our week with conversation, encouragement, and purpose.
Every week we go to lunch together or get coffee and talk about life, our dreams, our plans, and all God is doing! This is a baby-less time! We check in on how each other is doing emotionally with life. This time has reignited our ability to listen to each other.
Life is busy, but we both need moments of real connection and conversation.
Make time to prioritize physical intimacy within your marriage.
You may think, this doesn’t need to be on the schedule or agenda. With the pace of our current living, if we don’t make it a priority, it will soon fall underneath the weight of the kid’s soccer games and baseball tournaments.
These small steps have truly made our relationship stronger. It doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it, as long as you stay intentional with growing in your relationship. (And this is relevant for friendships, too; being intentional is key). Make the time to cultivate an atmosphere where love can grow and depth can happen!
Monika Baker is a graduate of Christ For The Nations Institute in Dallas, TX. She has a God-given passion for songwriting, music, poetry, books, and all forms of creative writing. She desires to inspire others to hold onto faith through our many life experiences. Monika has been married for eight years to her best friend. She is a mom of two littles, Wyatt Kingsley and Evalyn Faith! Monika likes to spend her time, writing, eating Mexican food, and drinking coffee (of course)! Follow her on Instagram @monikalaray