You’re married! Welcome to the other side of “I do”…the unchartered land that lies beyond the wedding day. The place where strengths are magnified and weaknesses are minimized…the place where dreams are realized and victories are inevitable. But WAIT!!! This is not at all what was expected — this land is FOREIGN — somehow the journey detoured on the other side of “I do.” So when did things change…what is my role…
What exactly am I supposed to do on the other side of ‘I DO?’ you might be wondering. We are so glad you asked…
The transformation from fiancé to wife has proven to be a challenge for many brides. The characteristics of being a wife extend beyond perusing magazines, creating registries, choosing venues, and picking flower arrangements. Evolving from a role with few responsibilities to one of many has not only benefits, but also barriers. Because of this, I am often asked, “how did you prepare to be a wife; how was the transition into marriage?” Honestly, the answer I provide is probably not the answer that’s sought — it is not shrouded in glimmer, painted in gold, nor does it gleam like the iridescence of a diamond. The answer I typically give leads back to the principles that my faith is grounded in, rooted in the premise that you have to be groomed to be a wife, that you must be prepared for the undertaking of the covenant. Now that may seem particularly odd because you really cannot be prepared for everything. And even still, there are many women that believe that being prepared to be a wife includes the aesthetics (hair, makeup, and clothing), the accomplishments (degrees, jobs, and homes), and the physique (the size of your bottom compared to your top).
While those things may seem essential, they actually do not provide the foundational elements that a woman needs to be a wife, especially the way God originally intended. So where do we learn the fundamentals; how do we cultivate them? In Scripture, we find great examples in the story of Ruth, Esther, and the Proverbs 31 woman. Esther was prepared to encounter her king. Even after she was within the good graces of the King as Queen, she remembered her call, and kept her peace despite the social climate. Another great example is in the story of Ruth, where her obedience to specific instructions provided her the ability to be found by her mate. And of course, the Proverbs 31 woman, because through her character, her husband found favor with the elders.
In these stories, it can be suggested that the treasures found in wives outweigh aesthetics, accomplishments, and yes, even physiques! Consequently, the significance of a wife has been diminished or forgotten, assigning less value and honor to this role. Despite this, the Bible tells us that a wife is:
- A helper (Gen. 2:18)
- A conduit of favor (Prov. 18:22)
- A symbol of honor and royalty (Prov. 12: 24)
- A source of wisdom and good judgment (Prov. 19:14)
- A priceless example of integrity (Prov. 31:10)
Therefore, dwelling in the land on the other side of ‘I do’ is a wife who is helpful, supportive, noble, honest, prudent, and wise. And although these traits may have been planted and possibly nurtured while single, out of necessity they should be cultivated and fortified during marriage. Moreover, when you enter the other side of ‘I DO,’ remember there is purpose, promise, pleasure and power! So ask yourself, did you commit to God’s standard of a wife or the fairytale of a bride?
Author ● Executive ● Image Consultant ● Life Coach New York born and Texas raised, Kira Monique Laws is known by her peers and colleagues as a coach, a counselor, a mediator, and a friend. Combining her Love of God, her Love of Self, and her Love of Others, Kira has transitioned from an accomplished career into a new but familiar arena, Life Imaging. As an advocate for women’s affairs, Kira has a global passion for carving a path for youth and young women. Through her epithet and brand, The Modern Day Cindi, her primary focus is to not only build people, but build businesses; to not only coach individuals, but develop their ideas. Kira’s journey has placed her in education, non-profit, political, and fashion arenas. Her background as an attorney and entrepreneurial business acumen has given her the foundation to be a creative force in driving change.