“No man will ever want me, and I’m a single mom.”
“No man will ever be good enough for my child, other than his father.”
Does this sound familiar? If we are honest with ourselves, these thoughts have crossed our minds as single mothers. Can we tell you about the story of Mary and Joseph, the parents of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? No, not the story of ‘Mary had a little lamb,’ but one that will most likely change your life …
Did you know that Joseph played a significant role in the birth of Jesus, if not, just as important as Mary’s role? The story of Jesus’ birth is profound and very creative. Mary was the physical vessel to bring the Savior into the whole world, but Joseph was the seed of the promise. Joseph was the bloodline of Abraham and King David (Matthew 1:1-16).
The marriage of Joseph and Mary with the birth of Jesus Christ was a direct fulfillment of Scripture, as we see in Isaiah 7:14. “All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’).”
If God could have a well thought out plan of redemption for us, a fallen race, using the lives of Mary and Joseph, why would God not have a well-designed plan for you and your family?
As a Christian single mother, it can be tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We see plenty of examples in the Bible of families and marriages, but not too many single parenthood situations. Some of us single mothers may have a desire for marriage and some may not. What is so profound about the story of Mary and Joseph is that they chose purpose over emotion or desire.
Let’s be honest, do you think Mary, in her human mind, desired to be with a child out of wedlock?
Even though she knew this child was supernatural and that it was from God, her pregnancy was still very natural. Imagine the magnitude of what Mary had to carry and handle. She stayed the course of obedience.
As a Christian single woman and mother, I know it can be easy to get wrapped into this whole idea of a family. It is only natural to think that you must have a complete family to be complete and purposeful. But if we read Scripture, and read it carefully, we see that Mary and Jesus never belonged to Joseph. Even after they were married, Scripture refers to Jesus as Mary’s child (Matthew 2:13 “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,” the angel said.”).
That is not an oversight.
I believe God wrote it this way to show us that we ultimately belong to Him. We see men as our protectors and as our leaders in our family, in which they are, but God is the ultimate protector, Father, and leader of our family and lives.
Did you know you can be just as affective in motherhood and your singleness without a husband?
Although physically speaking, it takes a man and a woman to procreate, spiritually speaking, it takes a purpose and guidance from the Holy Spirit.
It is time to embrace the uniqueness of your situation.
Ruth and Boaz is also a powerful redemption story, and one that provides hope and the restitution for a life of unwavering faith. But God is so great and merciful that He never gives us the bare minimum. But He gave the story of Mary and Joseph as a testimony that God is the ultimate orchestrator and master of our lives.
Single mom, don’t you want a man who is in the presence of God? One who seeks God’s voice on how to not only lead you but lead you and your child?
Boaz and Ruth are great, but let’s face it, they did not have children. Our children play a huge and significant role in our lives when it comes to dating.
Joseph had to prepare himself to take on this role that God ultimately groomed him for, hence him being of the bloodline of Jesus through King David.
Matthew 1:20-21: “The angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. ‘Joseph, son of David,’ the angel said, ‘do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’”
So I join you, as a single mother. I do have a desire for a husband and more children. And at times, that desire for a family can get the best of me …
Yes, there are lonely moments. Yes, there are moments where I am weak, and I doubt. There are even moments where I cry. Then God reaches into my soul, and He reminds me that my family is already complete with Him.
My Joseph is indeed out there, because God did say that He will fulfill the desires of my heart, but let’s as single mothers, choose to be like Mary instead. Mary was not in the room convincing Joseph to stay or to explain what God was doing through her. She just did it. While an angel was visiting Joseph, Mary was actively pregnant and fulfilling her purpose with praise and honor! Let us do the same!
Melissa McAllister, also known as @aMelRoseUniverse, is a faith blogger, using social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to spread the love of Jesus Christ. She is the founder of The New Single, an organization that redefines what it means to be a single mother and woman in today’s society. She is a single mother to a two-year old daughter and believes in empowering single mothers to not walk in an identity of shame, but to love Christ and fulfill their purpose.